12 October 1998
(Heaton/Rotheray)

Courtesy of J.Chumley

LOOK WHAT I FOUND IN MY BEER

Look what I found in my beer
A couple of dancing ladies and a ticket out of here
Look what I found in my beer
A start to being lonely and an end to my career

Look what he found in his gin
Lights' looking lively when lone's looking dim
Look what he found in his gin
Souls look heavy when personality's thin

Look what I found in the drum
A lifelong beat and a replacement to the rum
Look what I found in guitar
Another fellow thinker and a chauffeur to my heart

Look what I found in the mic
An end to screwed-up drinking and a Paul I actually like
Look what I found in my beer
A free test drive for a heart I cannot steer
Look what I found in my beer

Look what I found in my drink
A brain without a plughole and a sink without a think
Look what I found in my drink
A "love you' to the barmaid and a too-familiar wink

Look what we found in his booze
The reflection of him and his children without shoes
Look what we found in his booze
This mornings jigsaw in a hill of last night's clues

Look what I found in the drum
A lifelong beat and a replacement to the rum
Look what I found in the guitar
Another fellow thinker and a chauffeur to my heart

Look what I found in the mic
An end to screwed-up drinking and a Paul I actually like
Look what I found in my beer
A free test drive for a heart I cannot steer
Look what I found in my beer

Look what we found in the dance
Look what I've found in the song
Low expectations in a large pile of cans
It makes the drink seem weak,
the friendship strong

THE TABLE

This table has four sturdy legs
And a heart of very near wild oak
When others would have screamed out loud my friend
This one never even spoke

I've been sat upon, I've been spat upon
I've been treated like a bed
Been carried like a stretcher,
when someone thinks they're dead
I've been dined upon, I've been wined upon
I've been taken for a fool
Taken for a desk,
when they should have been at school

This table's been pushed against the door
When tempers, well tempers flare at night
Banged upon with knuckles clenched my friend
When someone thinks that they are right

I've been sat upon, I've been spat upon
I've been treated like a bed
Been carried like a stretcher,
when someone thinks they're dead
I've been dined upon, I've been wined upon
I've been taken for a fool
Taken for a desk,
when they should have been at school

Tables only turn when tables learn
Put me on a bonfire, watch me burn
Treat me with some dignity, don't treat me like a slave
Or I'll turn into the coffin in your grave

I've been sat upon, I've been spat upon
I've been treated like a bed
Been carried like a stretcher,
when someone thinks they're dead
I've been dined upon, I've been wined upon
I've been taken for a fool
Taken for a desk, when they should have been at school

Tables only turn when tables learn
Put me on a bonfire, watch me burn
Treat me with some dignity, don't treat me like a slave
Or I'll turn into the coffin in your grave

Notes:

On Later With Jools (20 Nov 98), Jools asks PDH what this track is about and Paul says something along the lines of:

"It's daft to be window shopping when what you actually want is already there IN the window ... sort of like banging your head on a brick wall"

(Ta, Jane)

WINDOW SHOPPING FOR BLINDS

One day I'm loaded, next day I'm broke
Spent all my money on whisky and coke
Riding high 'till the rock hit the spoke
It's like window shopping for blinds

Spent all my money on a sunbed tan
Spoke the best that a young girl can
Ended up with a blind drunk man
It's like window shopping for blinds

It's like the heartbreak hotel, with the heartbreak but nowhere to stay
The doors are shut on us, the neon lights fading to grey

They say I drink too much, to me, well that's just profound
How do you know you can't swim, until you have drowned?

Well there's always a drop in the bottle lady
Always a sip of the wine
The glass doesn't seem quite so empty
When window shopping for blinds

It's like gatecrashing a field, that's not true, they've a harvest they yield
Save your tears for your evening meal,
when you're window shopping for blinds

One day you're sober, next day you're not
One day remembered, the next day forgot
Spent all my money on cocaine and pot
It's like window shopping for blinds

Covered in bruised from head to toe
No-one to speak to, and nowhere to go
A map of nowhere, and nowhere I know
It's like window shopping for blinds

It's like the heartbreak hotel, with the heartbreak but nowhere to stay
The doors are shut on us, the neon lights fading to grey

They say I drink too much, to me, well that's just profound
How do you know you can't swim, until you have drowned?

Well there's always a drop in the bottle lady
Always a sip of the wine
The glass doesn't seem quite so empty
When window shopping for blinds

But what if my husband should come?
Well tell me what have you done?
I've cherished my vodka, I've cherished my rum
Don't mind us, we're just licking our wounds in the sun

It's like writing 'I love you' in snow
You know when you write the message it will go
I want a message my lover will find
Don't mind us, we're just window shopping for blinds

POCKETS

Here comes Pockets
His trousers hold a thousand deadly sins
The maddest things we ever found in bins
He clutches them and looks at you and grins

Here comes Pockets
The children wary of what they may contain
The linen may have changed, the contents same
A trouser-treasure island with no name

And socially at the platform that the timetable forgot
Picking up used tickets in a station of have-nots
When you're on that train of thought
You pass some pretty funky stops
When you're on that train of thought
You pass some pretty funky stops
That's the Pocket, let him be - That's the Pocket, let him be

Here comes Pockets
Picking up the things we cannot see
A bicycle, a dame, a Christmas tree
Things of no value to you or me

Here comes the Pocket
Reduced through history to just a crawl
History turns the tall into the small
But natural born trawlers love to trawl

And the guitar of his dreams hangs upon some wall
Or laying underneath the staircase in a hall
We can carry dreams but we can't hold them all
That's why we learn the Blues before we actually fall
That's the Pocket, let him be
That's the Pocket, let him be

And he's clinging on to hope
Like the oak tree to the gale
'Cause finding one love letter in a sky high jumble sale
Is one single reason, why the Pocket will not fail

I MAY BE UGLY

With a face like a crab's bus ticket
And skin like a llama's door mat
He was always gonna struggle
Nature had seen to that

He dreamt of those old-fashioned movies
Where Bogart gets the dame
But a lorry load of Lorre
Is still the score of pain

And he sings
I may be ugly
But I've got the bottle-opener
He may be fat but he's got the corkscrew
And in the party party politics of this ugly fame
There is no orderly queue

With a chin like a tramp's juke-box
And eyes like a rhino's ash-tray
It was always going to be pantomime
That made him sing and dance anyway

When you feel like London
And you look like Hull
You think Travolta pulled Newton - John
Who did John Hurt pull?

And they compliment the compliment
And it's driving you insane
It's like talking to a helicopter
When you know that you're a plane

Breath like a mountain goat's satchel
Nose like a pool of sick
But you always leave your flies ahoy
'Cause the world wants to suck your dick
Let it suck!

And he sings
I may be ugly
But I've got the bottle-opener
He may be fat but he's got the corkscrew
And in the party party politics of this ugly fame
There is no orderly queue

LOSING THINGS

I'm losing things
That's what old-fashioned love brings
Lost the key to the house
The feeling in my mouth
I'm losing things

I'm forgetting things
That's what old-fashioned love brings
Forget the number of the street
The shoes on your feet
I'm forgetting things

'Cause I've a limited capacity in my brain
When my brain is filled with you

Like they've impaired the ability
I had to know just what was true
And it's a real Greek Tragedy I know
But so much of me don't care
I've forgotten every name in my life
But I still remember her

Well I've lost belief
But I've found if you turn that stone,
there's love underneath
And when I have belief
I spend all my time
Cleaning the grime from my holy teeth

I'm losing things
I'm losing things
And it's a real Greek Tragedy I know
But so much of me don't care
I've forgotten every name in my life
But I still remember her

Yes, I'm losing things
Yes, yes yes I'm losing things
And it's a real Greek Tragedy I know
But so much of me don't care
I've forgotten every name in my life
But I still remember her
That's why I'm losing things
I'm losing things

Notes:

Just tugging on mescal /
Trying to eat the umbilical cord

Mescal \Mes*cal"\, n. [Sp.] A distilled liquor prepared in Mexico from a species of agave.

A bottle of mescal always has a small worm at the bottom, which may look to some like a small umbilical cord.

Legend has it that eating the worm should have psychadelic effects.  It may or may not be true, after finishing a bottle of mescal it's hard to notice.

(Ta, Iwan)

YOUR FATHER AND I

It was the middle of winter And I drove us in my car
The snow started falling So we stopped off at a bar

The beer started flowing And your mother and I took the floor
But by the last dance we were tired So I booked a room next door

So if anyone asks you If you come from Heaven above
You're from a one star hotel With a five star passionate love

It was a hot summers day
Amd we drove there in the car
And your father was thirsty
So we had to find a bar

Well he couldn't stop drinking
And he couldn't stand on his feet
We had to walk to a hotel
And book ourselves into a suite

So if the teacher asks you
Are you from Heaven or are you from Hell
You're from a one star drunken screw
In a one star motel
Yes if the teacher asks you
Are you from Heaven or are you from Hell
You're from a pitch black toilet
In a highway Taco Bell

I'll remember the birth for the rest of my time on this land
Your mother sweating buckets And me holding onto her hand

Well your father was absent
He claimed he couldn't find the ward
Just tugging on mescal
Trying to eat the umbilical cord

So if anyone asks you
Do you know where you're from, say yes
You're from your mother's womb
And your father's stinking breath
And if they ask you how you got there
Tell them just what it took
Your father's stinking breath
And your mother's stinking luck

Your father and I won't tell the whole truth
Your father and I wont' tell the truth

If (B-Side to Perfect 10)

If the greedy were the starving
If the masters were the slaves
If the owners became the dogs
How would they behave?

'Cause selling family heirlooms
For one fifty or a pound
Is like standing outside
Burger King
Selling horse and hound

Cause sleeping in a doorway
With a futon and a quilt
Is like crying in the rubble
Of a building that you built

The day that you're not man enough
Is the day you cease to be
A wheel-barrow full of leaves
From a rotten apple tree

If the mugger was a woman
And the man just passing by
Would ya' ___ and bitch and slag it up
You'd shrivel up and die

If the landlord was the tennant
And the hunter was the game
If construction was constricted
And capital just the same

Cause sleeping in a doorway
With a futon and a quilt
Is like crying in the rubble
Of a building that you built

The day that you're not man enough
Is the day you cease to be
A wheel-barrow full of leaves
From a rotten apple tree

If the King was court jester
And the jester took the throne
He'd put the privileged on the streets
And give the poor a home

If the Irish were the English
And the English still not free
Would ya mick and pick
and pad it up (?)
You tongue the pip and agree

Cause sleeping in a doorway
With a futon and a quilt
Is like crying in the rubble
Of a building that you built

The day that you're not man enough
Is the day you cease to be
A wheel-barrow full of leaves
From a rotten apple tree

Loving Arms (P10 B-Side)

(T. Jans) Tom Jans Website
Originally Perf. by Etta James

If you could hear me now
The one who said that
she'd rather roam
The one who said
she'd rather be alone
If you could only hear me now

If I could hold you now
Just for a moment I could really make you mine
Just for a while turn back the hands of time
If I could only hold you now

Cause I've been too long
in the wind
And too long in the rain
Taking any comfort that I can

Looking back and hoping for
The freedom of my chains
And lying in your loving arms again

If you could see me now
Singing somewhere through the lonely night
And dreaming of the love that held me tight
If you could only see me now

Cause I've been too long in the wind
And too long in the rain
Taking any comfort that I can

Looking back and hoping for
The freedom of my chains
And lying in your loving arms again

I can almost feel your loving arms again
I can almost feel your loving arms again

(Heaton/Rotheray)

If it aint an epic
Don't dust it
If it ain't an epic
Don't cry for it
If it ain't perfect girl
Don't leave this world

If he ain't got style on it
Don't bust it
If he ain't got length on it
Don't weep for it
If it ain't just perfect, girl
Don't leave this world

(chorus)

Suck harder
If you want to make an empty shell
Suck harder
If you want to make an empty shell
If it aint no vintage
Don't dust it
Don't dust it

If it ain't antique
Well, Mary, don't you weep
If it ain't well dressed
Well sister do what's best
If it ain't just perfect girl
Don't leave this world

(chorus)

Suck harder if it ain't antique
Well, Mary, don't you weep
Don't you weep
Suck harder

I gave my heart to you,
The one that I trusted
You brought it back to me,
Broken and busted
I sold my heart to the Junkman
And I'll never fall in love again

You took my heart
Because you thought
You could use it
Just like a little toy,
You battered and bruised it
I sold my heart to the junkman
And I'll never fall in love again

Like a melodrama
In a simple manner
Love played the leading part
We had planned a happy ending
But I left with a broken heart

I throw my pride aside
And say "we'll be friends, dear"
Teardrops I cannot hide
For this is the end dear
I sold my heart to the junkman
And I'll never fall in love again

(repeat last verse)