It's Grim Up North
(Especially if You're Married and/or a woman)

Most likely a parody track, "Grim" was first published
in NME Magazine 5th March 1994, under the heading
"Beautiful South Exclusive New Lyrics Revealed!"

With this ring I thee wed
Even though you're crap in bed
I know you'll be out boozing
'til four in the morning
Then come home and knock me about
I should have heeded mother's warnings

(chorus)
The honeymoon is over before it's even begun
Married life's so grim up north
I think I'll get a gun and shoot myself

All you do is race your whippers
Feed the pigeons, drink your beer
Eat your chips and watch the racing
And act as if I wasn't here

(repeat chorus)

I should be unlucky lucky lucky lucky
I should be unlucky in love

I'm a walking stereotype of northern life
The boozing violent husband
and the downtrodden wife

The honeymoon is over
before it's even begun
Married life's so grim up north
I think I'll get your gun and shoot you instead